Weird to write about this since I haven’t written in such a long time. Guess everything has cycles.
Years ago my ex once said we should write a book about co-parenting through a divorce. My internal response was. “Yeah, right.”
But yesterday, after another one of our family meetings, I have completely embraced this idea. Jaime and I co-parent better apart than we ever did married. There are tons of things that factor in to this and we would of course explore this in the book. It seemed simple to me, but when I step back and look at it, it’s not. There are so many little things we do, in addition to the big ones, that make it work.
You don’t know how many people have a puzzled expression when I refer to him as my ex, or tell me they didn’t realize we aren’t together until they see the separate listings in the school directory. The reason: we sit next to each other on the soccer field, at the swim meet and school events. We are co-parents. We are friends.
The more and more people who compliment us on how we’re doing it right, the more and more I realize people have a hard time getting to where we are. The emotions are so high in a dissolution of a marriage, hell, ours were, too. But because of my depression which led to years of therapy, of marriage counseling, workshops, etc. we learned tools to deal with these feelings and emotions. We release them where appropriate, we call each other out on our bull shit, when one of us slips up, we are patient with each other, we take the high road. Again, I could go on and on. More of why there’s a book in here.
I even an idea for a working title, “Love Your Kids More Than You Hate Your Ex.”